On Monday, I told you about a discovery from a decade ago — three verses in Exodus that describe the full depth of God’s salvation. Those verses exploded my small view of what salvation meant, and they’ve been shaping my life and work ever since.
Today, we’re going back much further — almost forty years.
Looking for a North Star
It was 1985. I had just walked across the stage at Asbury Theological Seminary, diploma in hand. I was about to become the pastor of the first faith community willing to entrust me with spiritual guidance and leadership.
For weeks, I’d been praying for something that would keep me steady — a north star I could fix my eyes on when I felt disoriented or distracted in ministry. I knew myself well enough to know I’d need it.
One afternoon, while running errands for our upcoming move, I ducked into a little corner café for coffee. I had my Bible with me and decided to pick up where I’d left off in the Gospel of Mark.
The Scene in Mark 3
Mark 3 finds Jesus in the early days of His public ministry. After thirty years of quiet obscurity, He is suddenly the talk of the region. Crowds come from everywhere — some curious, some desperate for healing, some simply hoping to see something extraordinary. In northern Israel, His name is spoken with warmth and wonder. But word will soon spread south to Jerusalem, where the halls of religious power are already suspicious, and resistance is spreading northward
And then, verse 13:
“Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to Him those He wanted, and they came to Him. He appointed twelve that they might be with Him, and that He might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons.”
There are lots of hill stories in the gospels. Jesus preached the famous Sermon on the Mount from one. Jesus climbed other hills to get some space from noise so he could listen for the speaking voice of God. And, of course, there is the infamous Golgotha hill of crucifixion. By comparison, this hill story seems small — easy to read right past. But to do that would be to miss a crucial turning point in the story of Jesus’ mission.
The Word That Stopped Me
Jesus climbs away from the crowds and calls twelve men to Himself. Mark names them in the next verses — the beginnings of His ministry team. I could almost feel their excitement. Preaching! Healing! Traveling with the miracle-worker!
That’s where my eyes were headed too — to the action, the assignments. In a few days I’d be in the thick of it.
But then I saw it. The first reason He called them wasn’t to send them out. It was that they might be with Him.
One small word: with.
Not so fast. Stopped me in my tracks. No preaching yet. No healing yet. Just proximity. Relationship. Presence.
I didn’t grasp then everything that word carried, but something in me knew this mattered more than I understood. The first call of a disciple wasn’t to do something for Jesus — it was to be with Him.
The Disciples’ School
Think about what those three years meant for the Twelve. They learned how to pray by hearing Him pray. They learned mercy by watching Him touch a leper without hesitation. They learned courage by seeing Him walk straight into danger while others backed away.
When they stumbled, they stumbled in His sight. When they misunderstood, they misunderstood in His hearing. Every moment with Him was formation — not just the “spiritual” ones.
Withness was the school. Graduation came only when they could carry His presence into the world.
How It Became My North Star
That day in the café, this became the desire of my heart. But living it out has never been easy.
The culture is noisy — plagued by the hurry virus.
The church is busy — driven by bigger, better, more.
I’ve been surprised at how hard it is to simply be with Jesus. The invitation is often drowned out by activity, swallowed by noise. Eventually, I accepted a humbling truth: a seminary diploma or an ordination certificate is not the same as graduating from the “with Me” school of Jesus.
Slowly, I’ve been enrolling and re-enrolling in that school. And every time, I’ve needed practices that fight the noise and make space for withness — silence, solitude, lectio divina, listening prayer.
Back then, the activity-based church had given me the invitation but not the means to accept it. Spiritual formation gave me the means. And those practices have become a way of life.
Withness and the Four Layers of Salvation
In the language of Exodus 6:6–8, withness belongs in the third layer of God’s salvation — intimacy. God doesn’t just rescue us from Pharaoh’s whip or sin’s grip; He draws us into His presence so our lives begin to take on His life.
Withness is how God renovates a human life. It’s how the Spirit chisels away the rough edges, rewires our instincts, and teaches us to see the world through Christ’s eyes.
An Invitation to Be With
What would it look like for you, this week, to set aside doing for Jesus and make more space to be with Him? Not rushing through prayer or Scripture as a box to check, but lingering as you would with a friend you deeply want to know.
The Twelve were called to be with Him before they were sent by Him. That order has never changed.
💬 If this post stirred something in you…
This is the heart of spiritual formation — learning to live with Jesus until His life shapes ours. Our Certificate in Spiritual Direction spends half its time helping you learn to be with Jesus in life-giving ways, and the other half equipping you to help others do the same. Learn more here: Spiritual Direction Certificate Program
A Blessing for Withness
May you draw near to the One who called you,
linger in His company,
learn His ways,
and carry His presence into every place you go.
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