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Why Build a Rule of Life?
On Monday we talked about why life needs a trellis sturdy enough to hold growth. Today I want to show you how to build one. This isn’t about piling on religious rules. It’s about crafting a pattern of life that supports your desire to follow Jesus in the middle of your real season of life that includes, work, family, busyness, and limits.
A rule of life is never about earning God’s favor. It’s about giving your soul enough structure to stay open to grace.
A Bridge to Tradition
Christians have been shaping their days with a “rule of life” for centuries. St. Benedict sketched one for his community in the sixth century. Today, writers like Peter Scazzero, Ruth Haley Barton, and John Mark Comer invite us to do the same thing by crafting steady rhythms of prayer, relationships, rest, and work so that our lives stay rooted in Jesus. Their frameworks are good and time-tested.
But here’s the way I’ve found it lands best for pastors, leaders, and ordinary people I’ve walked with: three simple domains. Not a long checklist. Not something carved in stone. Just three kinds of practices that fit this season of life: one familiar, one that stretches you, and one that speaks directly to the needs of your soul right now.
Step One: The Familiar Friend
Choose one practice that almost always rings the bell for you. Something you’ve done before that reliably opens your heart to God. This anchors you in grace.
For me, the familiar friend has always been Scripture. From the time I was young, without knowing anything about “rules of life,” I kept returning to its and reading it, reading devotionals, memorizing it, reading through various books, etc. That steady rhythm has carried me for decades. Even now, I keep adding new ways to engage Scripture so it never grows stale but always yields more.
Step Two: The New Muscle
Pick one practice outside your normal tradition. It might feel awkward at first, but it keeps you exploring the breadth of Christian spirituality, the way cross-training develops new muscle groups.
For me, silence was once a brand-new muscle. I didn’t grow up with it. I doubted its usefulness. But over years of exposure and practice, it shifted from strange to familiar, until silence itself became a friend. Today, the “new muscle” I’m stretching into is solitude. Hiking has become one way I’ve learned to practice it as it forces me to slip away from activity, letting God meet me when I’m alone.
Step Three: The Seasonal Need
Add one practice that speaks directly to your current season of life. If you notice resentment rising, lean into forgiveness. If you’re caught in busyness, choose Sabbath. Let the practice meet you where you are right now.
In this season of transition, my need is rest. The last year has required vigilance and alertness as I discerned God’s leading. Now that decisions are becoming clear, I can feel my body and mind relaxing. Rest has become the practice I most need to receive as gift.
Add If–Then Cues
Habits stick best when tied to a cue. Link each practice to a specific moment in your day:
If I pour my morning coffee, then I open the Gospel and read a paragraph.
If I lace up my shoes for a walk, then I thank God for one gift.
If I set the dinner table, then I pause to bless those who will sit with me.
Anchors in the Week
I’ve found these cues can grow into weekly anchors too. For me, Thursdays mean hiking. The night before I’m already thinking: “Tomorrow I’ll be on the trail.” By the time I wake, the thought process is automatic: “It’s Thursday; I’m going hiking.” I gather my water, maybe some energy chews, a Bible, and a hiking pole. That simple cue—Thursday itself—has become the trigger for solitude, silence, and meditation on God’s word.
The same is true on Tuesdays at lunch. Since 2019, I’ve joined a small prayer gathering that meets for 30–45 minutes. I rarely miss. When the week begins, I already feel the anticipation building. I don’t have to ask myself what I’m doing for lunch on Tuesday; the cue is set: I’m going to pray with friends. And it’s more than prayer; it’s communal. Over the years, I’ve become deep friends with the others who also rarely miss a Tuesday.
A rule of life gives me solitude on Thursdays and communal life on Tuesdays. Both have become anchors—not rules, but gifts that add joy and depth.
These kinds of cues lift practice off the ground, the way a trellis lifts a vine. And here’s what’s important: it never feels like a religious rule. I don’t hike on Thursdays or pray on Tuesdays because I’m padding some spiritual résumé. I do it because these rhythms lift my life. They add joy. They’ve built depth as I’ve walked and prayed, and they’ve knit me into friendship as I’ve prayed with others.
Keep It With Others
My Tuesday prayer group shows how a simple habit can grow into deep friendship. But there’s a larger principle here: don’t try to build a rule of life in isolation.
Practices done alone can still shape us—
“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).
But they risk narrowing into achievement when we do them only for ourselves. The early church, by contrast, lived in shared rhythms:
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42).
A rule of life resists our culture’s drift toward isolation. It gives us a trellis for communal patterns and practices, habits we hold with others, where accountability strengthens us and joy multiplies. And this is one of the hidden gifts: what feels ordinary when I practice alone becomes transformative when I practice it together.
A Rule of Life for Real Life
The truth is, your rule isn’t fixed in stone. It flexes with your season. Right now, for me, that’s meant leaning into rest. For you it may be something different. Either way, this is not about perfection, or about performing for God. It’s about staying rooted, season by season, so the life of Jesus has somewhere steady to grow in you.
Practice Tool: Build Your Rule of Life
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Gratefully,
— Gene
You nailed it again. Thanks, Gene! I have share this with my children, and hopefully they will share it with our grandchildren.
Our rule of life includes: daily silence, a daily devotional together we call it our daily Lectio, regular exercise, and practicing Sabbath on Friday evening and Saturday when we do life-giving things.
Such a practical and helpful article, loved it!